share ko lang video na to from YOUTUBE

masakiiiiiiit!

:[-jOrcAn'19-]

,

"REGRETS" searched poem

Regrets

Gather around,

Pay your respects,

Turn around,

Think of regrets.

Does it hurt you?

Look at the ocean,

And see the sky,

Look in the mirror,

And start to cry.

What do you see that scares you?

You see a face,

It sees you too.

Reading “missing! no trace!”

Could that have been you?

They see the lies

But you ignore the pain.

You know it’s coming,

You’re going insane.

Was your ignorance worth it?

I hope so.

I hope so.

source:http://allpoetry.com/poem/6013261

:[-jOrcAn'19-]

it's hard

This poem is about a girl who is so in love with a boy. She thinks everything is going perfectly and that their love is growing. Then one say everything turns around and he starts ignoring her and putting her down.

It gets better again for a couple days. Then he goes back to being mean and eventually they break up.

 

When You Love Someone

by Preppie

When you love someone so deep inside,

It seems like it's so easy to hide.

You've loved him for so very long,

You would think he could do no wrong.

Every day you would hope and pray,

That he would always stay this way.

He treated you like you should be treated,

You thought your life was finally completed.

You thought your love was growing true,

And then one day it was all so blue.

He started putting you down and it hurt,

You thought all you were to him was dirt.

He started ignoring you and you wondered why,

All you wanted to do was curl up and die.

You thought your relationship would never end,

But that was all so fake and pretend.

One night he was so sweet to you,

You thought all those things were maybe untrue,

Two days later he was back the same,

You thought you were the one to blame.

He thought the relationship was getting too serious

And that you had become a little too curious.

By this time you knew it wouldn't last,

All the nice things he said were in the past.

You thought that you would marry him some day,

But this time God wanted to get his way.

You wanted things back how they were before,

But you knew this couldn't happen anymore.

It was a Saturday night about ten o'clock,

You heard the news and it wasn't a shock.

You knew this was going to happen soon,

As you laid there and cried in the pale lit moon.

:[-jOrcAn'19-]

i'm SANE without those ***************************

:[-jOrcAn'19-]

LISTEN and READ as well (FOR GOOD)

"Who can say if I've been changed for the better?  I do believe I have been changed for the better. And because I knew you..I have been changed for good.."

No matter how people judge me NEGATIVELY, judging me from what I have been, I always held  my head up high cause I know who I am, and I know I have been changed for the better, I have been changed for good.

I was blinded by the thought that they were my peace and hope. but indeed I settled at the wrong place. It was not a sanctuary all along, because it was just not the place to be.  I was so stupid, ignoring those who really cared. Those I knew and I know who care. Realization is never late. I know I have been changed because I realized that the SANCTUARY that I've been searching for was there all along.

I have my family, my high school friends specially my best friend Marie Clydell, My college friends specially Mario Jr., the King's Herald Choir. Specially to those I often talk to, Miles, Thea, Annareen, Kerhstine, Mary Jane, Airelle Kay, Jennifer, Ruth, and all our parents alike. also the new addition Danel Jay. Of course God. I know there are still a lot of you. Sorry if not mentioned.,

Now that I knew that I have these people I know I'm sane enough to say "I'm in my SANTUARY!"

:[-jOrcAn'19-]

an apology

"Preserving a friendship requires many skills. One of the most important of these is the ability to say I'm sorry. We all make mistakes. Hurting each other from time to time is inevitable, especially in a close friendship. Some people are incapable of apologizing, because they are unable to admit that they may have made a mistake. There is no way for a friendship to last without apologies. Saying I'm Sorry in a sincere and compassionate way will preserve your friendship and deepen the bond that you share.

Source:http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/friend/im-sorry-poems.asp#ixzz0fBBb4fMy

nightmare said...

kmi d.i jo? di d.i mi SANCTUARY para nimo? coz para nko ur one of the SANCTUARIES..where i can find happiness, love, attachment and etc., SAD to know ur still looking for it.. when here we are juz around you.. REMEMBER ka sa wali ni Father Thomas? na busy au 2 xa na boy kay cge duko to find thousand coins on the ground..Not knowing nga sa cge niya ug duko na MISS nya ug tan.aw ang SUNRISES, RAINBOWS and other nice things in this world.. :(

Monday, February 08, 2010

She's right. I was barking at the wrong tree. I was so stupid paying attention and wasting giving my time finding my sanctuary at absolutely zero qualification. And this apology is for those I was missing while I'm somewhere I thought was my SANCTUARY. SORRY, SORRY, I'm a very proud person, and doing this is hard.,. I admit, I was wrong, my fault, my mistake, my regrets. .

This apology also goes with those people in my wronged SANCTUARY. I know I've hurt all of you in all instances. And it's all because I expected too much from you. I imposed everything that you are not. Definitely, not my sanctuary. SORRY, SORRY more. But lets all move on. You are all better without me. And I'm at my BEST minus YOU.


To all.,. Take care cause I cared, I care, I will always care. Though we've part ways.

:[-jOrcAn'19-]

SANCTUARY

What is SANCTUARY?

• A place of protection or safeguard, a shelter  from danger or hardship.

And i say: FRIENDS can be our sanctuary. AGREE?

When I say I'm in a sanctuary, it will mean I'm in a place [where I feel the protection], I'm with people [where I feel protected] and I'm in a situation [feeling free from danger].  I have been to too many SANCTUARIES. And it always have been hurtful LEAVING. Leaving means finding new ones. What if  you'd never find another? it will be like the birds without their nests, fishes taken away from waters, lions put in big cages and any alike.

Been searching, looking for a new place to be safe, new people to feel safe,  a new SANCTUARY. Thought I've found one. But:

A SANCTUARY should never be the place of pain, hurt, agony, confusion, sadness, depression, helplessness, rejection, weariness, coldness, etc. 
A SANCTUARY should be the place of assurance, happiness, love, affection, attachment, hope, acceptance, etc.

NOW, I still find myself wandering, straying around. With nothing but my own me. I'm still LOST, vulnerable of any kind. When will I find my SANCTUARY?

:[-jOrcAn'19-]

i just want to share this song i got from YOUTUBE

Everything just fell into pieces. And things will never be the same. To those who understood, who cared, who stayed and for those who did not, Thank you for the contribution of what I have become. I'll miss everything. GOOD and mostly BAD. I never meant to put anyone in agony. It's life. We all can recover. Life is just a cycle. We fall and should rise again. But rising up will never be that easy. I have nothing more to say but I think I've just given up. Rising again without the strength will never be possible.

:[-jOrcAn'19-]

i made him cry

I thought it was nothing. It was just a simple argument just like what we always had. But he cried, and it hurts me. I have no respect to the person responsible for everything that I am. I said everything that will make my point to be the right one. It all happened because of my YOUNGER sister.

THE STORY:

My mother asked me to call my sister to ask about the assignment about optical illusions, wherein she told my mother to buy charts for illustrations. As I called her, she shouted at me, without letting me express of what I was told to say. My blood rises and shouted back the word "ATAI", and drop off the phone.

He scolded me. And I answered back. We argued and argued, my OLDER sister kept on telling me to stop but I continued. He stood up and talk of how disrespectful I am and blah2x, with a sobbing voice heading to his bedroom.

I held my head high, as if I was not affected at all. But deep within, it's tearing me apart. It was the first time seeing him cry. I made him cry. I made my father cry. I hate myself for being stubborn, disrespectful.

I did not go to any commitments I had on that day (SUNDAY 02092010). I don't feel strong enough to interact with people and pretend.

:[-jOrcAn'19-]

never been this insecure

I have been in this world for about 19 years. This year seems to be so far too different. At first, I thought it was just all in me. I've been so down, not feeling very strong, unhappy, like I'm all alone, so idle as I can be. They said it's just psychological. I say, you just don't understand, no one does!

I browsed old pictures while reminiscing those times. And then I realized why I'm feeling this way. It's because of what I'm not having, SECURITY. Security from what I used to have:

People who never took my presence for granted. As if they don't enjoy doing something without me. People who cared, people who knew, people who understood, people who accepted me in all that I am and all that I'm not. With those people, I can be what I am and who I am, without condemnation and hatred.

I have been feeling this way for I am insecure of what I have now. I don't know if it's for real or just fraud. It's eerie, I, having these thoughts. But what can I do? These thoughts wouldn't just rise up, thoughts have their basis. And these thoughts put me in pain and solitude.

:[-jOrcAn'19-]

the song that caused tears to rush out.., a LONG LONG time ago.

I just remembered it. It did just pop up. I would just like to share it because its lyrics is amazing to the extent that you will want to cry. So here it is: this song is entitled LATER by Fra Lippo Lippi. wew'

LATER

How could you come with me

When you knew all along that you had to go

How could you watch me sleep close to you

Pretending not to know

How could you memorize my name

And forget who I am

How could you think you're still the same

Believing I can

REFRAIN:

It's too late to start pretending

It's too late for a new beginning

Later than the sunset

Later than the rain

Later than never to love you again

How could you ask for more

Than an innocent smile

Trust in me to stay

How could you close the door

And leave me here

Supposing I'm okay

How could you break down my disguise

And uncover my fears

How could you look into my eyes

Ignoring my tears

:[-jOrcAn'19-]