01101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101             WILL NEVER REGRET any post or comment.,. SILENCE is loud. KINDNESS is brave. WISDOM is long. LOVING is necessary. i need it, we need it. SEARCHING, LOOKING for satisfaction. it is NOWHERE, it is EVERYWHERE " 01101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101011010101010101010001101010101010101010101010110101010101010100011010101010101010101010101101010101010101000110101010101010101010101

Thursday, January 28, 2010

never been this insecure




I have been in this world for about 19 years. This year seems to be so far too different. At first, I thought it was just all in me. I've been so down, not feeling very strong, unhappy, like I'm all alone, so idle as I can be. They said it's just psychological. I say, you just don't understand, no one does!

I browsed old pictures while reminiscing those times. And then I realized why I'm feeling this way. It's because of what I'm not having, SECURITY. Security from what I used to have:

People who never took my presence for granted. As if they don't enjoy doing something without me. People who cared, people who knew, people who understood, people who accepted me in all that I am and all that I'm not. With those people, I can be what I am and who I am, without condemnation and hatred.

I have been feeling this way for I am insecure of what I have now. I don't know if it's for real or just fraud. It's eerie, I, having these thoughts. But what can I do? These thoughts wouldn't just rise up, thoughts have their basis. And these thoughts put me in pain and solitude.



:[-jOrcAn'19-]


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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

the song that caused tears to rush out.., a LONG LONG time ago.

I just remembered it. It did just pop up. I would just like to share it because its lyrics is amazing to the extent that you will want to cry. So here it is: this song is entitled LATER by Fra Lippo Lippi. wew'


LATER

How could you come with me
When you knew all along that you had to go
How could you watch me sleep close to you
Pretending not to know
How could you memorize my name
And forget who I am
How could you think you're still the same
Believing I can

REFRAIN:
It's too late to start pretending
It's too late for a new beginning
Later than the sunset
Later than the rain
Later than never to love you again

How could you ask for more
Than an innocent smile
Trust in me to stay
How could you close the door
And leave me here
Supposing I'm okay
How could you break down my disguise
And uncover my fears
How could you look into my eyes
Ignoring my tears


:[-jOrcAn'19-]

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