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Thursday, January 28, 2010

never been this insecure




I have been in this world for about 19 years. This year seems to be so far too different. At first, I thought it was just all in me. I've been so down, not feeling very strong, unhappy, like I'm all alone, so idle as I can be. They said it's just psychological. I say, you just don't understand, no one does!

I browsed old pictures while reminiscing those times. And then I realized why I'm feeling this way. It's because of what I'm not having, SECURITY. Security from what I used to have:

People who never took my presence for granted. As if they don't enjoy doing something without me. People who cared, people who knew, people who understood, people who accepted me in all that I am and all that I'm not. With those people, I can be what I am and who I am, without condemnation and hatred.

I have been feeling this way for I am insecure of what I have now. I don't know if it's for real or just fraud. It's eerie, I, having these thoughts. But what can I do? These thoughts wouldn't just rise up, thoughts have their basis. And these thoughts put me in pain and solitude.



:[-jOrcAn'19-]


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5 comments:

  1. Jo Se PhineFriday, January 29, 2010

    ..cheer up, friend !
    i just want you to know that we're just here for you.. and that we need you because we want you, your company. ..☺

    ReplyDelete
  2. jOrEm jOrgESunday, January 31, 2010

    to Josephine:

    ..words can be decieving and words are just words until they are proven.

    :[-jOrcAn'19-]

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jo Se PhineSunday, January 31, 2010

    " Friends don't need to prove anything to each other.. much less to anybody. "

    ..the LONELINESS or insecurity that you're feeling right now is like an illness. If we are not the right medicine you want, then we can never cure you. ..

    . ..and that's reason why..

    ReplyDelete
  4. jOrEm jOrgEMonday, February 01, 2010

    to Josephine:

    ..you got it! .as if your telling me that you are not the right people i could ask help for. and of course you can never treat an illness if you have no capabilities to cure. as well analize to: you can never be hired as a doctor if you are only trained to be a nurse. you can never be a dentist if you only studied HRM. see and understand my point without judgement and without putting an opposition towards your point.

    :[-jOrcAn'19-]

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jo Se PhineThursday, February 04, 2010

    if i were a doctor.. i could never cure your illness if you won't allow me to..

    ..'cause you don't want us to enter in your life..you want another doctor to cure you..

    ..no matter how we offer all our services to you.. you still want another doctor, the one you had before..

    =(

    sad to say.. aLa na jd me mabuhat ana.. †_†

    ReplyDelete

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